As you have noticed, I changed my background. I used to care a lot about the appearance of my accounts eg. blogspot, friendster, myspace; however, just like a lot of things in my life, I really don't care anymore about it anymore. I just noticed when I signed in that there are new designs and I liked this one. Hence, the change.

Life: hectic. I have two tests next week and a paper due in between. Why am I here? Not really sure, but I just felt like ranting and besides, I'm 3/4 done my paper so I'm just here as a reward. Actually, it took me 3 days to write this much of my paper. I was gonna say that I'm unmotivated, but I'm really not. I'm actually motivated by the amount of accomplishment I did. I just really have to have a loooong time for momentum before I really start writing something.

Work: yesterday (friday), I wasn't supposed to work. I don't work fridays because I finish really late from school and commuting for 2 hours, I really can't make it to work til 6-ish and the store closes at 9, so 3 hours aren't enough for me to really tire myself even more from school. Lolita, however, asked me to come because people don't want to work. I assume it's because of halloween parties going on, you know?

As you can tell, I didn't have any parties to attend, but so as R! Rawr. lol! I didn't even know he's working that day. I was kinda embarassed that he was in because I looked so haggard that day, mygad. I was at school from 10-4 so yes, I was ngarag-looking by the time I reached work. Good thing, I was wearing these dangling earrings, which are my fave btw, hopefully, they caught attention instead of my face, lol!

So I approached R when he was passing by my department. I actually tend to ignore him the first time I see him during my shift. Maybe I need momentum for that too, ugh!! lol. Anywho,I told him his eyes looked different. I asked him if he cried because they really looked kinda puffy, but he still cute *wink* So of course, he laughs like I said some joke. He said he didn't cry. He asked if his eyes look ugly. I said they just look different. So, he asked if different is ugly. I said no. I was gonna add that he's beautiful to my eyes anytime, but I kept that to myself *wink*

Whenever he passes by, I always tend to stare at his eyes like I'm hypnotized. I'm sure he already knows I like him. Though that should bother me, I don't really care. I think I'm friendly to everyone at my work. I like joking around with them, telling stories and just chillen. So I hope he didn't take that incident differently. If he did, it's okay. I don't really mind LOL! Why do I like contradicting myself?!

That night, there was a power failure at the store. It was pretty funny because customers were thinking we were doing it intentionally because of halloween. Then, we started getting emergency flashlights, blah blah blah. Overall, though I was able to go home 20 minutes before my shift originally ends, it was an exciting event! I loved it. I didn't know that would ever happen at my workplace.

I've been trying to make small conversations with R, but he seems to be not picking up. Like okay when I asked him how to use the store phone to make an outgoing call because I needed to tell my sister to pick me up earlier that night, he told me I have to press one number and then dial my home phone. I wasn't really expecting that answer. I wanted him to give me a ride =D

Crazy right?

I know.

What if he did ask me? What will I do? OMG, he might kidnap me!!

K, I don't really mind!!!

Nah, if he did, I think I'd say yes, but I'd treat him somewhere in return. Is that bad? I don't really know. Btw, I bussed that night. It took me 1.5 hours to bus home versus a ride with takes me 10 minutes max. UGH, it was soo cold too!!

So it's R's fault for not giving me a ride, clearly! lmao

That's why even though I like him a lot, I can't imagine myself with him. We're so different. He doesn't do what I expect of a guy that likes me to do. Am I unreadable? Am I hard to understand? Are my signs difficult?

whatever.

this is one of the many reasons why signs that a guy likes you shouldn't be taken to a higher level. i shouldn't analyze his acts and formulate a situation that'd really show that yessss, he likes me! expectations about this guys will kill me. Too slow to understand my signals or he just doesn't have the balls or he doesn't really like me?

Okay, I think that's enough of R-talk. Sometimes, I wanna try to like other people back. I know these two guys that like me. the first one is my age, but he's kind of small and just not my type. he messages me on fb about what my interests are. at one point i actually shared my spiritual life with him. isn't that crazy?! the second one is younger, but really tall and charming; i just see him as a friend/ brother.

They're both nice, fun and exciting, but you'll always want what you can't have, right? There's something about R's snobby self that attracts me. Something about his lazy-looking eyes and his weird gestures toward me. Maybe because he's the one I cannot read. The one I can't predict.

You know what's funny, whenever I tell my sister about R, she always tells me that I should know if a guy likes me. I should have an intuition to matters like this. How come I don't know? Am I in-denial? or is there really nothing to deny because he doesn't like me? How come I can't read him? I don't really knoww maynnn =(

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