ALERT: R is alive!

I overheard that he was sick for some time so he had to have some days off. Boo!

But it's so ironic that when i least expected it, that's when he was in. Yesterday, I walked in and he was just closing his locker.

I was like AHHHH!!!!

I was so thankful to God that He heard me! Although maybe subconsciously I've been wanting to see him, I kinda gotten over him leaving without any signs of return. I really don't know why.

I feel like guys just make girls crazy. Yes, having a partner may be inspiring, motivating, whatever. But there comes a time when you want to just organize your life. You suddenly become concerned of your career, for instance. When you have someone waiting for you to go online and you're just too busy, your partner becomes a burden. I hate it when that happens!

So I realized, for the past seven or so months that I've been single, I've been happy. I shouldn't mope around getting envious of people who are currently dating. Although I miss caring for someone and whatever, I see it more clearly now: I see that in life, you gotta prioritize what things should be first. I've always believed in success, in educational status. I admire people who have professional careers; those doctors, lawyers, those people.

Not only are they smart, but they know what they want.

I want to think, act, feel like them. I think I'm obsessed with the idea of success. I want to master something.

That's why I feel guilty when I have in my head this little wish that I have a boyfriend. It feels like success = focus, focus= no boyfriend. YOU KNOW?

I don't know where this post is going. The main point is that I can finally say that I've adjusted to lone sailing. I am happy about work. I love meeting new people: being able to help them with what they need and getting this feeling of self-fulfillment at the end of the day. I can proudly say that I have been working extra hard on school during the summer and have managed to raise my GPA, woot!! My family is well. My family is healthy. I am healthy. I am surrounded with the people whom I care for and get my inspiration from.

I really couldn't ask for more. I'm truly blessed and I'm thankful.

ps. why is it that i have only been obsessed with R for so long? i've been seeing him at work twice in a row, but i get this feeling that he's boring and we won't connect. I feel like he's just a big brother (literally).

pps. according to my lovely sister, R ain't cute. Aww :(

bye for now