it's been five days since i wrote my last entry wow. anyway, im dealing with the same old dilemma ; work. i told my mom about wild water kingdom but still she wont let me =( i just dont wanna waste the opportunity of having an easy, not so stressful job, i dont even have to apply anymore, i just have to go in.. i dont even do anything at home.. i just sit around like a bum everyday infront of the computer and making my eyes worse.. i dont see the point why im still not allowed.. wwk is only 2 buses from my house and i'd only work 5 hours a day, 5 times a week!!! it's just part time and i really wanna grab the chance to make money for the 1 1/2 months left of the summer.. why would i want to use OSAP if i have a choice to save up now =/ sigh* =( i just wanna actually work hard for my money.. i hope they can give me a chance to work, to compromise so it's not always what they want.. they should consider what i want too, after all that's just a summer job.. i dont get why i cant work, i dont have school, i just stay here at home doing nothing.. gah i hate thinking about my situation and worse, i hate thinking about the hopelessness of it.. funny thing is that im getting tortured every single day of the idea of working but i can never ask my dad just because im afraid that we'd end up arguing and im afraid of the answer.. i just want to compromise.. it can't always be their rules, i have some rights too.. it's so hard.. im not really happy anymore =( i hope they can sometimes consider my well-being as a person and not only stick to their brickwall parenting.. im not totally against them because i know theyre just tryna protect me but sometimes they have to trust me.. in septemeber i wont even be home most of the time because of school, why can't i start building my independency now? my sister isnt working by choice.. he once applied to places but wasnt called for an interview.. how about me, sometimes i wanna have that determination that my sister has.. she can conquer all the barriers.. and she doesnt get emotional about it.. we're total opposites.. ayayay!

on a lighter note, im really considering taking dance classes.. i like getting hyped and losing control =] woooo! lame? >_>; but anyways, til the next entry! ciao~