There are so many things that I am very happy about and thankful for right now:

1- Classes are finally over.
2- More work hours since I don't have to book off days.
3- My birthday is coming up. 3 more days as you read this.
4- Interesting twists are going on in my heart matters.
5- Found my HG anti-oily-face-when-you're-doing errands power & it's disgustingly cheap.It's the NYC translucent loose power. I have too much love for youu!

For the first time, I only have 2 final exams for this term. The other 3, I had the final test during the last day of classes. Not complaining at all!

So anywho, I've been searching for "How-to-know-if-a-guy-likes-you" sorta questions because I know, well more like I want, R to like me LOL! I wanna emphasize his ways though they're not necessarily 'meaningful' aka a sign to show me he likes me.

Actually, it's just tonight again that I started to like him again this much lol. I've been putting him in a very deep dark place in my head-- so far that I won't be able to access him, entertain thoughts about him. In short, I don't wanna like him anymore.

Why? Because he's waaay too different for me. It doesn't feel right lol! Besides, since we just see each other at work, there isn't really any consistency in that. Last week, I wasn't able to see him in one week. I booked days off so it was kinda my fault.

Anyway, so the other day and yesterday, we worked together. Somehow I wanted to give this snobby aura and so I did. Whenever I knew he was passing by, I'd intentionally look straight without even looking at him. SO yeah, for two days now I've been kind of cold to him. I don't really know why I just know that I don't wanna be my giggly self around him just as how i am with others. Again, this is because I don't want him to think I like him. I also purposely approach other co-workers whenever he's passing by to explicitly tell myself 'don't look at him, guurl'

In those two days, I was able to show that I wasn't nice and that I wasn't feeling him. I think I got this tactic when once I did the same thing--ignoring him, no eye contact whatsoever-- because i had a tummy ache. before that shift ended, which was like 2 months ago, he asked me "feeling better?" so i was total kilig as you imagined. of course i got kilig because it means he cares, even just a little.

So today, I guess he noticed me being snobby and not my usual giggly self. So when I passed by, he asked me "how come you don't got that smile today?" and so I was so shocked and ahhhhh, ksjflsjf

i just wanted to give him a medal for being the cutest boy because he cares for meee.

k maybe a medal is too over-the-top, but boy, i felt that rush of 'R likes me', 'R likes me!!!!' thoughts.

after i heard that, i just gave him a frown. a worse frown than what i was already showing. i did that for consistency lol. if i smiled really fast then he'd know i like him. i'm smarter than that!

Next passing by, he asked "come on charmaine, show me a smile" and sooooo, what to do, what to do!!!!!

I still was an A+ drama actress and stuck to my frown.

Finally when we were about to close the store, he asked me: "are you feeling better now. what's wrong?"

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING ME THAT MISTER?
LIKE ARE YOU FORREAL?

I just said 'yeah'.
He was like 'what yeah?!' * he actually imitated the way i said 'yeah'

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I had to do some errands so i just smiled at him and stared at him real hard.
As usual, he gave me a bigger grin.

thank goodness i didn't actually faint. i was so happy!! i felt like he was so sincere and that thought that he might actually like me is back, again.


i actually didn't wanna blog about this because i feel like i jinx it.
i'm just quite fond of my experience tonight; that is all.