hello babies! i have so many things to rant about so where should i start?!

firstly, i did my first 40-minute cardio work out today and boy did i feel fat. i was sweating like a farmer and i loved it! being out of breath was the bestest thing ever! usually, i feel that way whenever i mow the lawn or when i'm at work because i get up my mini stool and put stack shelves under time pressure. okay, maybe work isn't that intense but i sure sweat getting up and down my mini stool.

when i first played the dvd, i was like there is no way that i'll finish this 40 minute work out. i'm too out of shape and it's just impossible. however, when i was getting the hang of it after 20 minutes or so, i was like well maybe i can do it. okay fine, i'll just do it. i had to pause quite a few times to get a face towel and drink some water cuz it was really intense. i really hope i can keep it up and do it everyday.

whenever i set myself up to a goal, i always put a reward at the end of the rainbow. this time, i think i'll reward myself with a white watch. it doesn't have to be a fancy one, but a hello kitty white watch would be really good. i actually want one from ardene though it wasn't hello kitty. Or maybe i should get the piercing the i always wanted. my sister is considering getting hers, that's why. it's nothing too outrageous just the side of my ear. Or maybe i should colour my hair. i just want something new that'd go along my new workout regime.

but regardless, i'm just praying that i maintain this much motivation to keep on going and just do it. one of the reasons why i wanted to start working out is because i think i should stop acting old. i mean, i should take advantage of my time at home, the resources that i have and the amount of energy i have. i don't want to have this urge of working out when i have my hands full of my babies, you know?

anyway, so stats is done and we have a week and a half time to spare to just enjoy summer for a bit till the second half is on again, which will end in late august. i'm taking a linguistics and a psychology class just to keep up with the credits i need. i really don't mind have classes during the summer cuz they're making me busy and actually go out and spend my time wisely. i really feel lazy when i just stay home all day waiting til something comes up.

another good news is that my sister got a summer camp job! woot!! i really thank god for blessing us with jobs. it'll enable us to help here at home with the tiny things that we lack. though the bad side would be having ced home alone most of the time. he ends school on wednesday and my sister starts work on thursday and i'm not really sure what's going to happen.

at work, i still haven't made a lot of friends. i smile and say hi to a lot of people and they do the same, but i'm not really close to anyone to the point that we have discussed other matters than work. isn't that sad haha! i have been work there for almost 2 months by the way and each day i'm always grateful for being blessed with such an ideal job for a full time student. hopefully, i can keep up when real school starts in september. although i'm managing right now, i really don't know what to expect when i'm balancing 5 classes plus a part time job.

one of the best things at my job is that my supervisor is filipina so i feel safe and at home, as silly as that may sound. she's accomodating and i think she's also trusting because i am her kind lol. she's really hard working and i am proud that she's my kind HAHA. she's never impatient with me though i've never worked other than my old job at a waterpark. this is the reason why i'm really praying hard that i'll be able to balance things out: i love my job. i'm not a kiss ass, but i'm just being honest and grateful, if you haven't figured that yet haha, sorry!

as for my crush, i'm afraid that although i like him; it's already.. well what should i call it.. fading? i don't know why, really. he still is my type, thinking of him still makes me smile and i still imagine him and i going out (LOL), but it's just too vague. well, do we like a person because a quality of theirs attracts us or is it because there's a huge possibility that you guys will date in the future? tell me please because i think the first one is true. it's true that i have crushes that are actors and singers, but those aren't really serious. am i making any sense?

at work, there's this guy that reminds me of T and it really doesn't feel right; so i always try to avoid him. although he's a bit taller than T, the facial expression and stature are just the same, especially the eyes. it makes me smile, not cuz i like the guy -let's call him Pony Tail- but it's cuz Pony Tail reminds me of how T looked like before when we started getting to know each other three years back; those days are still vivid to me and i'm happy whenever i look back.

whenever i have those days, i always remind myself that we're both in a better place right now and that i shouldn't entertain a lot of 'what ifs' in my head because he's happier and i am happier. god is just there watching all of us so we are in good hands. i am thankful for the things that have happened and i am willing to embrace whatever god's giving me in the future because he knows best.

on a happier note, i finally accepted UTM's admission offer. my sister and i are currently trying to match our timetables so we could go home together. going home with my sister is always bomb. i noticed that after work, i seem to be better right after i see her waiting for me hehe. i don't know why, maybe it's because she's really been my best friend. only my mom and my sister could make me feel that way and i'm thankful for having them. i literally have my frown upside down cuz they're the best <3

one of my goals during the remainder years of my undergrad is to get active in school. i want to volunteer to a couple of organizations just so that i can have life outside of school and work. it's always fun to be involved around campus. i think it gives me a push to be a better student. how? simply the motivation to do good right beside your fellow students on top of other commitments is priceless. any student could have 100% energy, but just a few students maintain motivation to always give their best shot at homework and essays, you know. i just want to make most out of my time, my money and my undergrad experience.

by the way, i'm so thankful that through the advice of the psychology dept. advisor, i'll be majoring in the area that really fits. it's a branch out of psychology and it's called exceptionality in human learning. i'm really interested in children's disabilities and the lives they lead; it breaks my heart whenever i see people that could get help, but don't because of petty reasons. i believe that we should all live life to the fullest and helping others do this is a vocation that i want to fulfill.

god bless everyone!